Saturday, September 12, 2009 ♥ 12:53 AM
there's always a time you made the wrong decision in your life... no one can stand up and tell the whole world they never made a single wrong decision... that's one of the reason why no one is perfect...
I had made a couple of wrong decision... wait a minute... I dun think it's only a couple... it's like... ... ermm... well... a lot... so much that I always managed to learn from it and TRIED not to make the same wrong decision again... it's a learning process. just a very hard way...
so, anyway... about what happened...
I guess it took me less than a week in there to know/learn that I had made one of the biggest mistake in my life by rejecting the very first offer and chose the current one...
It seems like I have major issue to bond with my colleagues and I seriously dun feel any good with them...
at first.. i was wondering whether it is my own problem or am I too traumatize by that certain bitch to have problem to bond with ppl I work with...
but down the route... I am able to bond with a bunch of people except my OWN colleagues in the SAME department...
now.. tell me... is it me or them?
i always feel very outcast as they always get into small talks with times excluding me and solely me... is it my problem? yes.. it may...
so there i go... frag and endure as much as i can and.. tata... i SNAPPED at the intensive period of a major project and become the really super retarded in the whole team and even my whole working experience added up.
internally.. i wonder why and i knew exactly the answer.
i am too exhausted to work with this bunch of people and too sick and tired to do the work that was passed to me...
i know they are observing and thinking i am the drag and problem in the dept.
so............ just the past wednesday... my senior manager and supervisor scheduled a private meeting with me and inform me that i did not meet their basic expectations and some other not so nice things...
and my SM prompted this question to me which everyone guessed it's a hint for you to leave....
"Is this really what you want to do?"
and after talking and explaining and seeing clearly what they were "hoping" to hear from me...
i said that I think the job is not suitable for me and she asked what I think i should do which I asked back whether it was possible to RQ for a transfer and she pulled out this policy that NO staff is allow to transfer with less than 1year with them... thus didn't that landed me with a SINGLE SOLE option?
i told them in that case.. i shall tender and then she told me to reconsider and let them know 1 week later which is the coming wed....
she gave me a option.. to leave or stay and try for 1 month... if i still failed their expectation.. i shall be asked to go.
i mean.. what's the point.. we both agree.. i dun fit and i am slowly killing myself on this job with the crappy work i produced (according to them)...
i already made the decision and i am tendering on the coming wed...
let's hope i will get sth that fit me better and make me happier....
let's try not to sob over the wrong decision and look for solutions to make it right...
*cross yr fingers and pray hard for me!!*
