finally!!!

i am finally working on a new story for the year.. i know.. it's been so long since i lasted wrote a story.. but recently.. after reading a certain series, some ideas keep popping up in my head and patterns are forming....

i am so going to write the whole story in chinese! haha.. first time ever leh.... so there's a lot of hard work and involvement needed to be put in.


let's hope the story will be out soon and i will not disappoint myself once again for being a "runner' in writing~~~

still gonna figure some other characters and the first chapter can be in progress soon~~~~~~~

stay tuned~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

往日情 李玟

讓我慢慢忘記你
像朝露蒸發陽光底
乾乾凈凈的心情從此
不再背負思念荊棘

記憶它屬於生命
誰能輕易抹去
我只能全部都藏匿

腦海裏全是過往情景
我該如何整理
真教人力不從心

這份情感如何還給你
誰能夠代替你
我畢竟已付出真情

（ MUSIC )

讓我慢慢忘記你
像朝露蒸發陽光底
乾乾凈凈的心情從此
不再背負思念荊棘

記憶它屬於生命
誰能輕易抹去
我只能全部都藏匿

腦海里全是過往情景
我該如何整理
真教人力不從心

這份情感如何還給你
誰能夠代替你
我畢竟已付出真情

為什麼世界好不公平
先讓我們相遇
又經歷太多風雨

午夜夢裡
常常回到往昔
夢醒難忍傷心
因為當時有你

some ppl are happy when they are jobless.... ya.. the enjoyment of being able to relax and enjoy life but for me...

it's endless FRUSTRATION!!!!!

i have enough of being at home!!! damm that MYY & bitch that landed me in this state!!!!

curse both of them!!!! die both of them!!!!!

ARGH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

after exactly 3mths of endless self-torture.. it ended for good....

those who had not heard... i guess you be very surprise that it got to happen now and the "best" part is no notice period is needed... wow!!!

well.. in life... there are things we made mistake and it's NEVER wrong to out it right although it may kills u a little... but wounds will heal and sometimes it never leave a scar....

so.... let's reflect on today happenings...

after tendering... hmmmm

a huge rock/weight seems to 'magically' lifted off my shoulder and whole body.. man. it's such a good feeling!!!!

oh.. den attitudes start to change to a nicer way and man... if that's how they behaved.. i will be myself and work as myself...

guess myy and that bitch is really a killer..

i still holds the hatred towards them wherever i goes... ah.... that's not a good thing isn't it....

one very nice thing.. no one bother to ask me to work and leaves me to surf net and rot around... haha... way better den the rotten place... i still remember i have to work my ass off on my last day just to clear that bitch's shit and not to have her stab me even more behind my back... lolxxx

so.. let's cross our fingers and pray really really hard that i will land myself on a job that is really suitable for me and i am able to love and stick to it ~~~~~

*crossing fingers, praying hard*

there's always a time you made the wrong decision in your life... no one can stand up and tell the whole world they never made a single wrong decision... that's one of the reason why no one is perfect...

I had made a couple of wrong decision... wait a minute... I dun think it's only a couple... it's like... ... ermm... well... a lot... so much that I always managed to learn from it and TRIED not to make the same wrong decision again... it's a learning process. just a very hard way...


so, anyway... about what happened...

I guess it took me less than a week in there to know/learn that I had made one of the biggest mistake in my life by rejecting the very first offer and chose the current one...

It seems like I have major issue to bond with my colleagues and I seriously dun feel any good with them...

at first.. i was wondering whether it is my own problem or am I too traumatize by that certain bitch to have problem to bond with ppl I work with...

but down the route... I am able to bond with a bunch of people except my OWN colleagues in the SAME department...

now.. tell me... is it me or them?

i always feel very outcast as they always get into small talks with times excluding me and solely me... is it my problem? yes.. it may...

so there i go... frag and endure as much as i can and.. tata... i SNAPPED at the intensive period of a major project and become the really super retarded in the whole team and even my whole working experience added up.

internally.. i wonder why and i knew exactly the answer.

i am too exhausted to work with this bunch of people and too sick and tired to do the work that was passed to me...

i know they are observing and thinking i am the drag and problem in the dept.

so............ just the past wednesday... my senior manager and supervisor scheduled a private meeting with me and inform me that i did not meet their basic expectations and some other not so nice things...

and my SM prompted this question to me which everyone guessed it's a hint for you to leave....

"Is this really what you want to do?"

and after talking and explaining and seeing clearly what they were "hoping" to hear from me...

i said that I think the job is not suitable for me and she asked what I think i should do which I asked back whether it was possible to RQ for a transfer and she pulled out this policy that NO staff is allow to transfer with less than 1year with them... thus didn't that landed me with a SINGLE SOLE option?

i told them in that case.. i shall tender and then she told me to reconsider and let them know 1 week later which is the coming wed....

she gave me a option.. to leave or stay and try for 1 month... if i still failed their expectation.. i shall be asked to go.

i mean.. what's the point.. we both agree.. i dun fit and i am slowly killing myself on this job with the crappy work i produced (according to them)...


i already made the decision and i am tendering on the coming wed...

let's hope i will get sth that fit me better and make me happier....

let's try not to sob over the wrong decision and look for solutions to make it right...

*cross yr fingers and pray hard for me!!*

Some ppl.. who thought they are better den others... who never care of others except themselves... who have this it's your own biz if you die attitude... who is so emo yet never allow others to be emo... who thought he/she is so good but in reality he/she isn't... who never listen to others' opinion but only ownself....

well... i did not pin point at anyone unlike some ppl who always did it in the blog(s)...

never write :: no comments coz we all know you have something to comment !!!

never write :: i shall not comment coz some ppl cannot take it coz since you already know the person cannot take it, why bother to mention to seek the attention !!!

NEVER assume what you think and feel is RIGHT coz in reality you aren't !!!

okie.. i am targeting and directing at a certain human being... if you read this and feel that you are this said person.. possible.. it's time you start reflecting on yourself...

never think you are good coz you aren't and never think you are being nice coz you are a jerk/bitch...

ever suspect why some people never likes you... coz you have faults people see which you never or can't be bothered to notice....

stop living in your own wonderful world and start learning what is reality and see your own faults!!!

oh... in normal cases... ppl can take criticism... it's juz the person who critize they cannot stand coz the person who critz others has the biggest issue and fault!!!

***** despite being as cheerful as i try to be and pretending nothng is going on.. i fear my true feelings and emotions are leaking out without realizing.... *****



finally managed to watch my FIRST rated R21 movie since the time i hit 21. LOLxxx...



it's a korea movie named 'A Frozen Flower' aka '霜花店'...





剧情介绍：

激情的高丽末期，王和王的男人“洪林” 不明身份的刺客正威胁着王(朱镇模饰)的生命。从小就在王的身边担任护卫的健龙卫首长洪林(赵仁成饰)不惜一切代价保护着王，并瓦解了企图暗杀王的势力团伙。

无法拒绝的选择和交错的命运只要是王的命令，如生命一样对待的洪林，这一次遇到了非常难以抉择的问题。王为了得到一个继承高丽王位的儿子，命令洪林代替自己与王妃(宋智孝饰)结合。茫然的洪林和不情愿的王妃，还有用不安的眼神关注的王，刺激与欲望交织的那一晚，三个人的命运开始了完全不同的转变。

禁忌的爱情晃动着历史自从那晚以后洪林的心无比动摇，曾经谁都无法撼动的王与洪林的关系也开始产生了裂痕。一场反转式的阴谋将彻底激怒王的神经。

被卷入动荡历史中的洪林与王，还有王妃，围绕在他们身上的命运故事即将拉开序幕。



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nice, interesting but sad movie...

anyway.. more about my life...

i met someone... and i guess it's okie to start as friends...

but if you NEVER can get your ass to reply or go for gatherings...

i seriously doubt that the so called platform of a friendship can be formed...

especially when there's not a single communication tolls that both of us can used except the middle person....

am i piss? if you were me.. you will find the answer yourself....

** i so wanna/need to K!!!! **

oh.. on leave on my birthday! Isn't that sweet!!!! LOLXXXXXXXX......

let's pray and hope everything go well this weekend... ^^v

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